The Sort Yourself Out 2024 Advent Calendar: The Cupboard Special
Dec 1st: The advent of advent. Dec 2nd: Fancy a little drink. The halftini. Dec 3rd: Catch Me If I Fall. Dec 4th: Eating yourself for cash.
DEC 1st
A cheese advent calendar from Morrisons
After a fortnight away (see Dec 3) I returned to London last week and my ex said he would go away, “You can have the flat to yourself for the weekend. I’ll sleep downstairs Sunday and Monday.”
Four nights in my actual bed. My soft yet firm mattress effortlessly supporting my knackered body instead of the ever more madly cluttered clanking discomfort of The Cupboard or schlepping somewhere to stay in someone else’s family home. It was sensational having my own dogs dispensing crumbs of mud and dog dribble on my own sheets while I watched a whole season of Slow Horses horizontal, propped on my own pillows. My body gently hummed with an unfamiliar feeling. Rest. Comfort. But I knew something was coming. Something that meant I couldn’t properly let go. I just knew.
He popped in to walk the dogs a couple of times. There’s this edge. It’s not just that he clearly doesn’t like me, finds me annoying and inadequate, has moved on to better much tidier and more affluent things about which he is secretive and a little superior. It’s that he thinks I’ve done him some injustice, he’s angry with me. Sometimes it’s contained. Sometimes it is not.
I like a twist in a vodka martini.
I don’t like a twist to my Sunday afternoon and one was coming. He has an uncanny skill of charging the air with an electricity that is a premonition of his mood. My exes gift to me on the first day of advent was coming back with the dogs and being angrily pissed off about a bunch of stuff. More or less everything I could assume would have a more or less direct cause in me….
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